Queer Romance and My Local Libraries

Recently I heard Tracy Timmons-Gray talked about getting queer romances into local libraries both in her opening remarks for Gay Romance Northwest Meetup and in this article she wrote for Queer Romance Month.

After reading her article I was inspired to look at my local library system and see if they had any queer romances on the shelves.

Where I live the local libraries for the four surrounding counties are joined together into one big library system. So when I searched for romance novels and queer romance novels in particular I was looking at not only what my local libraries had but the books owned by all the libraries for my entire part of the state.

Over the course of several days I did multiple searches using a variety of key words and managed to find two things out. First the combined libraries in the system held over a thousand romance books, some of them published all the way back in the seventies but many of them published within the last few years. In fact I could scroll through multiple pages worth of romance novels owned by my library system published in 2014 alone. So these libraries are certainly romance friendly and in fact buy many romance novels pretty regularly.

The second thing I found out was that out of all these romance novels only one was a queer romance. Bound to be a Groom by Megan Mulry was owned by a tiny library in the next county over from where I lived. Of the four public libraries within easy driving distance to me none of them had any queer romance novels at all.

So, just like Tracy suggested in her article, I contacted the largest and best funded of these four libraries to ask if I could request some queer romance titles for them to look into getting. I got a very nice email back only hours after I'd sent mine telling me that yes, I could request books and explaining how that was done.

Which left me to try and come up with a list of queer romance titles to recommend (I guess I should have already done this but I wasn't expect the process to be as fast or easy as it ended up being.) I will be honest the list I threw together was mostly based on two things: a) how much I like/want to read/want to reread the books and b) if the title was available in both ebook and paperback format since I didn't know which the librarians would prefer. I also wanted to suggest more than one or two titles but I also didn't want to go crazy and overwhelm the staff all at once.

A Suitable Replacement by Megan Derr
Apple Polisher by Heidi Belleau
Appetite by Talya Andor
Stolen Hearts by Sasha Miller
The Magpie Lord by KJ Charles
Spectr: Volume 1 and 2 by Jordan L. Hawk
Iron & Velvet by Alexis Hall

I got a nice email back saying my list had been past along to the librarians in charge of purchasing books, and I thanked them for their helpfulness.

Now we wait and see what happens, but so far the entire process was pleasant and painless for me.

I am really hoping at least some of these books are purchased. I would LOVE to see queer romance in any of these four libraries.

The area I am living in now is area I grew up in. The libraries I am now emailing and talking to about queer romance were the libraries I went to as a child and a young adult.

My parents both value books, reading and libraries highly. Growing up we went to the library every week. Often we would go to all four libraries on library day, bringing home stacks of books.

What I read as a child and a teenager was largely determined by what the libraries owned. I learned how to pick out books, what I liked and didn't like by browsing the shelves at the library.

The first book by Neil Gaiman I ever read was Neverwhere and I read it because it caught my eye on the newly acquired shelf at one of these libraries. I read authors who have been so influence for me; Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters, Anne McCaffrey, Lois McMaster Bujold, Diana Wynne Jones and many more by taking their books out of these libraries. I read my first anthology of Gothic horror stories sitting in the isles of the library I just emailed.

The books these libraries own, the books they choose to buy have been so important to me personally. But the one thing I never read there was queer romance. I would love to see them get some.

So here are my questions for all of you:

What queer romance novels would you have liked your local libraries to have when you were growing up?

What queer romance title would you love a chance to give to your sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year old self if you could?

Most importantly what titles would you love to take our of your local library right now?

Queer Romance Month

Queer Romance Month is exactly what it sounds like, a month long celebration of all types of queer romance. In a perfect world any time romance as a genre was celebrated or talked about queer romance would be included in there. However we do not live in a perfect world and queer romance is often thought of as its own distinctive genre, separate from "mainstream" aka heterosexual romance.

Which means that when romance is highlighted or celebrated queer romance gets mentioned maybe once in passing if that.

Queer Romance Month comes out of this. It is an entire month just to talk about and celebrate queer romance of all sorts, note a token post, not a single blog hop, but an entire month long event.

This year Queer Romance Month is October and it starts today.

All sorts of authors and romance genre people are participating in this years event. The organizers of the event have encouraged all of us writing posts to be thoughtful, to think outside the box and not just write the same old posts about why we write/read m/m romance. Instead I suspect there will be a wide range of topics covers from the ultra serious to more fun and light hearted. The topics I've heard murmurs of people writing about on Twitter have sounded amazing and I am looking forward to reading articles that touch on things that are often not talked about during genre events.

The months looks to be packed, there are 3 plus articles going up on the Queer Romance Month website daily.

We've already kicked things off with KJ Charles' super insightful article on the problems with thinking of queer romance as its own genre. 

Tracy Timmons-Gray's very practical and helpful article on how to raise community awareness about queer romance. Seriously after reading this article I looked at my local library system and discovered that although they owned almost a thousand romance titles none of them were queer romance. I am going to be looking into changing that soon.

And a very cute and funny audio from some of the people involved behind the scenes talking about Queer Romance Month, queer romance recommendations and other queer romance stuff. 

There is also a Queer Romance Month launch party over at Joyfully Jay's blog going on today (October 1st) that includes massive give-aways, check it out!

My own post is tentatively scheduled to go up on Halloween. So if that doesn't change I will be chatting with folks and replying to comments while sitting on the couch eating candy and watching haunted house movies.

For Queer Romance Month I chose to write about the personal reasons I write trans romance and why I believe trans romance and the inclusion of trans characters into all branches of romance is important.

It is going to be a lot of more of me talking about my experiences and feelings than I usually do. So that's both terrifying but also I think necessary.

So check out Queer Romance Month, and keep checking out out all the way through October. It is going to be a good time. 

Gay Romance Northwest Meet-up September 20th 2014: I will be there!

I will be at the Gay Romance Northwest Meet-up on September 20th!

This will be my first con I have attended as an author and I am super excited. If you are going to be there this would be a great time to stop by, say hello, and get to know me a little bit. I tend to be quiet but I'm not shy and love to talk about all sorts of things (as my online presence as proven.)


On September 19th at 7:00pm at the University Book Store I will be doing a reading, along with Jordan Castillo Price, Rick R. Reed, Rose Christo and Radclyffe. It will be good times (and maybe I'll have the fohawk back, we'll see.)

"From coming-of-age stories to paranormal mysteries to contemporary romances, each writer shines a spotlight on LGBTQ lives, loves and relationships, and promotes the theme that there’s Happily Ever After for everyone."

I don't know what I will be reading yet but it will be exciting (and a little intimidating) since this is my first reading ever.

On September 20th I will also be on a panel. 

3:55pm – 4:45pm: Panel 3 – The Evolving LGBTQ Romance Genre

Otherwise known as the return of the popular Diversity Panel! This panel explores special topics such as diversity (or lack thereof) in LGBTQ romance, and how the genre is evolving.

Moderator
Nicole Kimberling (Author, Turnskin, Primal Red)

Panelists

• David-Matthew Barnes (Author, The Jetsetters, Swimming to Chicago)
• Rose Christo (Author, Gives Light, The Place Where They Cried)
• Lori L. Lake (Author, Gun Shy, Under the Gun)
• Pearl Love (Author, The Uncertain Customer, ‘Til Darkness Falls)
• E.E. Ottoman (Author, Selume Proferre, The Memory of Blood and Lotuses)

I look forward to some great questions and great discussions!

I am also looking forward to seeing people at the author's meet and greet and signings later in the  evening.

Check out the rest of the schedule it looks awesome

I am excited and very pleased to be attending! 

Authors of Note: Diana Wynne Jones

Roughly one a month I write up an article about an author who has influence my own work. 

Most of these authors I encountered when I was young, either in elementary school or as a young teen. Each of them had a profound impact on the way I think about speculative fiction, myself as an author or storyteller, and books in general.

This won't necessarily be book recommendations, most certainly not reviews, and not even rereads. Instead I want to highlight my personal experience with books, books I loved and books that changed me. It will undoubtedly be pretty nostalgic and personal but I am interested in thinking and writing about the kind of literary traditions and histories that form the backbone of who I am as a writer.

Diana Wynne Jones (16 August 1934 – 26 March 2011):

was an English writer, principally of fantasy novels for children and adults, as well as a small amount of non-fiction. Some of her better-known works are the Chrestomanci series, the Dalemark series; the novels Howl's Moving Castle and Dark Lord of Derkholm; and The Tough Guide to Fantasyland.

I remember when my mother brought home The Lives of Christopher Chant on a wimp one day. My sister read it first and then told me that I definitely needed to read it, I would love it, she said. Then like now, trusted my sister's book recommendations so read it straight after she was done. 

Mostly I remember being intrigued. Long, long before steampunk, Diana Wynne Jones set up a world that seemed to be very much like 19th century Britain but wasn't. In stead there was magic and sorcerers and a the ability to travel between alternative realities. 

In a lot of ways Diana Wynne Jones was like other fantasy authors I'd read but she didn't seem to play by the rules of fantasy and that intrigued me. 

Back at the library I picked up the rest if the Chrestomanci series and gobbled them down, then went back for more. Next I read Howl's Moving Castle, which remains one of my all time favorite books to this day (this is the ugly cover the copy I first read had.) 

After that I tour through every book by Diana Wynne Jones I could fine. When I got done reading everything I could find in the library's children's section I moved on to the adult section. The Dark Lord of Derkholm I loved, and Deep Secret.  

Reading Hexwood was really what stood out to me the most though. I picked up an old copy at a library sale for less than a dollar. Thrilled to have a new Diana Wynne Jones book I took it home and read it right away (this is the cover of the copy I bought). 

Hexwood blew me away. Hexwood is not my favorite book by Diana Wynne Jones. In fact if I were to list her books by how much I liked them Hexwood would probably come after all the other books I've already mentioned. The thing about Hexwood was it changed my life. Hexwood is so unabashedly genre crossing, it combines elements of fantasy, science fiction and pure weirdness. It doesn't wait for the reader, carefully spoon feeding them every detail of the world or the plot but gallivants on assuming the reader will either keep up ... or they won't. 

Before that genres had always been very bounded to me. Fantasy author's wrote fantasy in a very specific (high fantasy or modern fantasy) way. Science fiction author's wrote science fiction in a very specific way as did mystery author's. It might seem stupid now but up until that point it had never occurred to me that you could mix genres together. Not in a superficial kind of a way but in a no holds bared let's put shit in a blender kind of a way. More than that it worked. Even more than that Diana Wynne Jones brought incredible amounts of stuff to the table she straight up invented herself. 

I love authors who reinvent things from mythology to genre tropes. But there's something truly awe inspiring about an author who says fuck it to the rules and ends up with something amazing that actually works. 

What do I remember Diana Wynne Jones for? What did she teach me as a writer? 

Be fearless. Write something that no one is going to mistake for anyone else but you.

Authors of Note: Lloyd Alexander

So I've never done a series of blog posts before but I think I would like to start.

My plan is at least once a month writing up a piece on an author I think has influenced my own writing.

Most of these authors I encountered when I was young, either in elementary school or as a young teen. Each of them had a profound impact on the way I think about speculative fiction, myself as an author or storyteller, and books in general.

This won't necessarily be book recommendations, most certainly not reviews, and not even rereads. Instead I want to highlight my personal experience with books, books I loved and books that changed me. It will undoubtedly be pretty nostalgic and personal but I am interested in thinking and writing about the kind of literary traditions and histories that form the backbone of who I am as a writer.

By doing this I hope to both pay homage to writers who's work has made me who I am but also understand myself and my literary roots a little better.

So jumping right into that.

Lloyd Alexander (January 30, 1924 – May 17, 2007): 

Lloyd Chudley Alexander was a widely influential American author of more than forty books, primarily fantasy novels for children and young adults. His most famous work is The Chronicles of Prydain, a series of five high fantasy novels whose conclusion, The High King, was awarded the 1969 Newbery Medal for excellence in American children's literature.^[1] He won U.S. National Book Awards in 1971 and 1982.^[2][3]

Alexander was one creator of the children's literary magazine Cricket (Wikipedia )

If I were to pick one author I read as a child who has had the biggest impact on myself as a fantasy author it would be Lloyd Alexander.

 I remember, vividly, the first time my mother read the Book of Three allowed to me and my sister. I remember being completely enthralled, I couldn't get myself out of the story. I was terrified and enraptured in turns. It was like the world of Pyrdain was living inside of me, as if it had crawled into my skin and curled up in my rib cage. I carried it around inside myself for years. I might still be carrying it even now.

Before I ever red Tolkien, Alexander taught me about the use of mythology in fantasy. Lloyd Alexander unapologetically entwines mythology, folklore and history into his stories. Chronicles of Pyrdain are based on Welsh myth, The Iron Ring is based on Indian mythology and The Remarkable Journey of Prince Jen is based on Journey to the West and another Chinese folktales. Although I loved the Vesper Holly books these fantasy novels were always my favorite of his works. 

I was already a fan of mythology and folk lore before I started reading Lloyd Alexander's books but it had never occurred to me before encountering the Chronicles of Pyrdain that I could use the mythology I loved to make stories of my own. Already knowing some Celtic mythology I recognized when Alexander wove Welsh legends it into the world he created in the Book of Three. Suddenly I was faced with a whole new possibility I had never thought of before, original fantasy that incorporated mythological characters, themes and events.  

About eight at the time it started me off re-telling and re-imagining different tales from Arthurian legend. If Lloyd Alexander could do it, I reasoned, so could I. I would reinvent different versions of the characters and stories surrounding King Arthur and his knights throughout my childhood and well into my adolescence. 

There was a brief period when I was about nine or ten years old, where I actually considered becoming a professional author as a serious life goal. I loved books, and being read to, I was already an accomplished story teller. I thought being a fantasy author might be a good career path for me. When I thought of the authors I most wanted to be like Lloyd Alexander's name was high on that list. 

Almost twenty years later his name still ranks high on that list, if for no other reason than I would over know that my books affects someone the way his books affect me the first time I read them.    

Excerpt: A Smutty Scene from the Mechanical Universe

Since I already shared a snippet from one of the two Mechanical Universe stories I'm working on I figured I might as well share another. This is a sexy scene from the longer of the two stories I'm writing, set in the same universe as A Matter of Disagreement and Duende.

The main character in this story is Captain Jérémie Ouakili second in command of the City Guard. He appeared briefly in Duende.

~~~

Jérémie hung up his greatcoat and climbed the stairs to his apartment before taking off his boots.

A knock came at the door followed by Matthew.

"How was your day?" Matthew held out the pup he'd been carrying and Jérémie felt more relief than he liked to admit as he took the wiggling puppy from Matthew.

"It was fine, quiet." He sat in his armchair in front of the fire and put the pup on his lap. "just how I like it."

"Good to hear." Matthew bustled around the room straightening things before heading for the door "Dinner will be really in a few minutes. Don't drink too much brandy before your eat, it'll spoil your appetite."

Jérémie smiled to himself as Matthew pulled the door closed behind him.

He shifted causing the chair to groan under his weight and stretched out his legs more. There was a little twinge of stiffness around his left knee and hip. Jérémie shook his head "I'm turning into an old man." He told the pup on his lap. "going to have to retire soon, and pack it in."

The pup sniffed his fingers, pawed at the leg of his trousers and then flopped onto his side.

His hip twinged again and Jérémie frowned and shifted. For all he liked to joke about it, he was beginning to think retirement might not be that far away. What would he do? Jérémie had never really thought about it. Buy a house somewhere? Stay in the city? When it came right down to it what did he have outside of the Guard and the military? With a shake of his head Jérémie tried to put aside those kinds of thoughts. He stroked one hand along the pup's back instead.

"I should find you a name." The little thing butted his head against Jérémie's hand looking up at him out of his one good eye. "Or better yet someone who has the time to take care of your properly and the space for when you get big."

Matthew pushed open the door again this time carrying a tray."Who are you talking to?" He put the tray down on the table and began arranging Jérémie's supper "Don't tell me you're talking to the dog."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Jérémie tickled the pup under the chin. "That's what dogs are good for in a city, companionship."

"that and chasing rats and protecting the household." Matthew picked back up the now empty tray "Although I suppose the little one won't be doing much of either, poor thing."

"You'd be surprised." Jérémie rubbed the pup's belly as the pup squirmed happily on his lap "he's tough, I think he'll make an excellent guard dog one day."

Matthew just raised one eyebrow. "Don't forget to feed him. I fed him porridge earlier in the afternoon but he'll probably need more if he's to grow."

Jérémie gently put the puppy on the floor in front of the fire and went over to the table. There was a small bowl of rice porridge and chicken along with his own food Jérémie saw. Jérémie too had chicken, it smelled delicious and seemed to have been cooked in a wine sauce. There was more wine on the table too along with potatoes cooked with fresh garlic greens

Opting to feed the pup before tucking into the food, Jérémie picked up the bowl of mush and went to sit on the floor next to the little creature.

"I still need to find you a name." Jérémie offered the pup a few fingers full of porridge and watched him practically fall over in his attempt to get to the food faster. "What would be a good name for a pup like you?"

The pup gnawed at the tip of one of Jérémie's fingers until Jérémie fed him more porridge.

"What do you think my little fighter? What name would be good?" the puppy looked up at Jérémie and continued to eat.

He should just admit it, for only having had the pup less than forty eight hours he was ridiculously attached.

"Lucas." Jérémie tried "Maxime, Meal, Bastien," The pup started biting his fingers again. "Loïc" the pup gobbled down more food and Jérémie continued to feed him until the porridge was gone.

He stood finally ignoring the pup's smile whine and went to wash his hands and eat his own supper.

He wondered if he would see Takahashi tomorrow, not really sure what he would say if he did. Business wise it would be a perfunctory meeting, just so he could rule out the possibility of Takahashi being threatened or attacked. Personally though he supposed there was nothing really to say.

I've been a fan of yours for years, watched your every fight, and fantasized about having you many times. Obviously not.

Jérémie shook his head and poured himself a glass of wine.

There was a pinch at his leg and Jérémie looked down to see the pup had somehow with only three legs managed to travel from the hearth rug to under the table. The little one whined and bite Jérémie ankle against.

Jérémie gave it a firm stare and the pup settled down curled up on Jérémie's foot.

Turning back to his meal Jérémie tried to quell the small knot of nerves in his stomach at the prospect of speaking face to face with Takahashi.

After eating, he settled in his arm chair with another glass of wine. The pup lay sprawled on one side on the hearth rug gently snoring. Jérémie picked up the book he'd been reading on and off for weeks now.

The young duke main character of Passion's Secret and his best friend had been  practicing fencing but quickly ended up having rough and sweaty sex instead.

There was no doubt it was hot, Jérémie could feel his heart speed up and arousal curl between his thighs as he read. His mind kept drifting away from the scene though and going back to the last time he'd seen Takahashi. It had been his last fight before he'd retired. It made nerves and a little bit of guilt mix with the pleasure in Jérémie's belly but he let his mind picture Takahashi anyway.

Takahashi was a big man, tall, broad, with a soft, large stomach that went along with the heavy muscles in his arms, legs and chest. He had powerful thighs and shoulders like a bull's and his chest was covered in thick dark hair, now going grey.

He moved fast in the ring, for a man of his age and size. He could be very still too, waiting and allowing his, often younger, opponents to tire themselves by attacking him. When he attacked though it was with speed and strength that had won him more fights then Jérémie could count.

Takahashi had been sweating by the end of that last bought, stripped down to only breeches. His back and the heavy muscles in his arms had been glistening. His opponent had blooded Takahashi lip early on in the fight, the red standing starkly against his pale skin. He'd been panting open mouthed, chest heaving by the time his opponent was on the ground. He'd looked up, as the crowd encircling the ring had roared, and grinned at them, licking some of the blood from his bottom lip.

Eyes closed Jérémie cupped himself through the fabric of his own breeches. Pressing against his cock and messaging. It was hard and swollen against his hand, trapped by the cloth. Unbuttoning his breeches he slid his hand inside, fondling his cock.

It was good but it wasn't enough. So after a moment Jérémie stood, rebuttoning his breeches and headed for the bedroom. He made sure the door that led out into the hall was locked on his way by.

He picked up the bottle of oily slick that smelled faintly of lavender, along with his small toy bag and headed back to the sitting room. Matthew had drawn the curtains when he'd laid the fire so Jérémie stood in front of the hearth and stripped of his jacket, waistcoat, shirt and undershirt. He sat and stripped off his stockings and breeches.

Naked Jérémie sat in his armchair again and let his hands run over the plains of his chest. The scarring was so heavy there that he didn't have a lot of feeling, but still the pressure of his hands was warm and comforting. Bringing his hands up to his shoulders and arms he traced the dark blue tattoos that covered his arms and his back. There was wide bands that ran like tree rings from wrist to elbow. There was the pattern of stars in folk designs from his home up his arms, across his shoulders and spilling down his back. He let his hands slide down his chest again and down his own belly feeling the large weight of it, the full roundness. Rubbing across the wide plains of his thighs and he then finally touched his cock. He kept the hair around his prick trimmed as short as possible, which allowed him best access to his tiny length. Reaching for the slick he poured some into his hands and let the tips of his fingers slide against the head of his cock. It made his hips jerk, made him suck in a hard breath at the feel of it.

He raised one leg up and hooked it over the arm of the chair before reaching between his legs with his other hand and stroking between his cheeks. The tip of his finger brushed against the small pucker of his asshole. Taking a breath he let himself relax enough to push the tip of his finger in, before pulling it and circling his hole again.

His other hand still played with his cock, rubbing across the tip. Using his first and middle fingers to encircle the shaft, Jérémie rubbed back and forth against the base of his cock. He alternated by making a pinching motion with thumb and four fingers and using the two to stroke up and down his shaft.

Researching for the toy bag, Jérémie upended it onto the side table. There was a long slightly curved phallus, one end thicker than the other, made out of red glass flecked through with white. The other object was also glass, short and mushroom shaped with a wide round flared head and flat horizontal base. It was made out of a dark violet tinted glass. Jérémie picked up the short plug warming it in his hands a moment before slathering it generously with slick.

Taking a deep breath, Jérémie lined the tip of the plug up with his hole and slowly, gently pushed. There was a feeling of stretching, tension, as his body struggled a little to allow the toy in. The muscles of his hole clenches and fluttered against the toy before relaxing and allowing the intrusion. Jérémie let out another long breath when the base of the toy was resting firmly against his ass cheeks, and closed his eyes letting himself feel of fullness, of being stretched and penetrated.

His hand came back up to his cock, toying and stroking it. He added more slick, letting his fingers play with the little swollen numb before reaching for the other toy. He slicked that toy up as well and eased the tip into his wet front hole. He groaned as his muscles clenched around it, sucking in a long shaking breath before pushing the toy deeper. The push of the long glass phallus into his body made his muscles of his ass clench around the large plug already inside him. He grunted and shifted making the armchair groan a little under his weight. When the phallus was as far as he could comfortably put it, he paused, trying to calm his breathing and enjoy the sensation of having both holes filled.

After a moment, once his breathing slowed he eased some of the long dildo out of his hole before pushing it back in again. He fucked himself slowly, but hard, feeling each thrust like a hit deep inside of him. The rhyme of it made his whole body feel sensitized, made him hyper aware of the large plug stretching his ass, holding him open and full. He found himself grunting and groaning with each thrust, bringing his leg up higher, even though his muscles complained, trying to go deeper. The glass toy was wide enough, long and heavy enough that each thrust felt like a punch. Not in a painful way, but in that the impact sent shock waves up through his entire pelvis and gut.

He wished he was down on his hands and knees, but then the angle would be awkward for him to fuck himself. Better yet, he wanted to be down on his hands and knees with someone else fucking him deep and slow from behind.

Eyes shut he pictured that, being taken, having each hard thrust be accompanied by the slap of hot skin against skin, the slick side of bodies pressed together.

He could imagine his partner grunting behind him with the exertion of the thrusts, telling him how good he felt, how good he looked.

His orgasm was building like a fist being clenched deep inside of him, something coiling in on itself and ready to explode.

He shifted in the chair bearing down as hard as he could on the plug in his ass, forcing it deeper, at an angle that was a little hard, a little rough, balancing on the edge of painful. At the same time he pressed the long cock in right up to the point where he thought he couldn't take it anymore.

Release was like a clap of thunder, like something powerful and dangerous that shook through his body forcing him to cry out and claw a the arm of his chair.

Going limp, he let his head fall against the soft cushioned back of the chair, and stared up at the ceiling. The fire crackled in the hearth and the pup sighed and turned over in his sleep.

Jérémie eased the long glass phallus out of his body first setting it aside and then worked the plug out as well. He stood, wincing as his knee protesting being forced up over the arm of the chair for so long and went to wash off the toys, and change for bed.

He tidied up the sitting room and unlocked the door so Matthew could collect the dinner dishes and then headed for his bedroom.

Let's Talk Sex: buying a pack and play realistic dildo

Recently I purchased a "Bendable Bobby"(name given by the manufacturer) or a "Otto"(name given by the retailer) realistic pack and play dildo.

I had originally just wanted a realistic dildo not a pack and play since I, well, often don't pack and play. Plus I already have a packer I like just fine. I very rarely have any money to spend on toys though and so I went with my cheapest option for realistic dildos. It turned out my cheapest option was the Otto pack and play.

Since I try to support small/feminist/queer run sex shops as much as possible I bought my new dildo from Early To Bed's online store.

I had originally seen an add for Early To Bed, a small feminist sex shop in Chicago, on Oh Joy Sex Toy one of my all time favorite webcomics.

It turned out buying from Early To Bed was a great experience. I had originally clicked on the option to picking up the dildo at their store, instead of having them ship it to New York, by mistake. They emailed me with a very friendly and personal reminder when the dildo came into the shop and I explained that I needed it shipped. They told me no problem, shipped it right out and I literally got it the next day. They were friendly, helpful and professional through the whole thing.

They say that "Early to Bed is committed to helping people of all genders and orientations explore their sexuality to the fullest" right up front on their website. I like that they don't hide the fact that they market to the trans* male community.

I was also impressed by the dildo itself. The Otto is $20.00 from Early To Bed. That is extremely cheap for a sex toy so I had pretty low expectations when it came. Otto or "Bendable Bobby" is a lot better of a toy than I was expecting though.

It's a nice size dildo, 6 insertable inchs with a 1.5 width.  It is made out of PTE, which has that Cyberskin feel to, it with a solid bendable core and full balls. It is a pinky vanilla color which only looks realistic if your skin is undead-pale (luckily for me, mine is.)

Pack and play dildos are able to be bent into a down ward 'flaccid' position to pack into your trousers and give yourself a nice bulge. When it's time to have sex the pack and play can be bent back up into an erects position for blow jobs, penetration and what not.

Right now there is no perfect pack and play on the market. Although it is worth noting I have heard really good things about Silky and Shilo pack and play dildos. Even really good pack and plays will make you look half hard while you are packing with them and are less than perfect dildos for sex. So be aware that there will be flaws to any pack and play dildo you buy.

Early to Bed is pretty upfront about the cons when it comes to this particularly toy:
- The core is not attached to the back.

-PTE or any cyberskin like material dirties easily and is hard to clean well. Plus no one but the manufacture is a 110% sure what is in it. 

-this will probably not last as long as many other dildos.

-it only comes in the vampiric pale shade. So if you are not one of the living dead it will not match your skin color.

-its shape makes it a little awkward to use with a harness.   

Cons I noticed while using are:
-when you bend it the solid but flexible core makes a cracking noise. Which most people, I am guessing, do not want to hear coming from their dick.


-like all cyberskin toys it is nicely squishy but can also be a little tacky on the outside, which is why most people recommend brushing lightly with cornstarch.
 
-I had a hard time using this toy for anal penetration. It's a little soft I found. Even after prepping extensively, trying multiple positions and warming up with a larger and harder toy I still couldn't get it to work. People may have better luck using it for anal when there are two people involves to figure out the angle and positioning. But as far as solo play goes, it's not a great anal toy.

-you do need to store it in a sleeve or bag. If you leave it, say on the coffee table over night, without a sock then it will leave a stain on the surface of said coffee table (don't ask what is in it that leeches out and stains things)


The pros are:
it is extremely cheap

it has nice detailing of veins along the shaft and the head is well defined.

I enjoy the fact that it has balls

it bends a little when it penetrates to fit the contours of the inside of your body. 

it does have a nice squeezable texture in your hand while you're jerking it off.

My recommendation would be this: always use a condom.
Doesn't matter if you're using it for penetration or a hand job, just always cover it.
A condom will keep it clean.
It will allow you to use it to fuck both your, or a partner's, front vagina and ass.
A condom will allow it to safely be used by or on more than one person.
It will make it feel better/more realistic in your hand/mouth/hole.
It will also protect you and/or partner(s) against whatever sketchy chemicals may or may not be in it.

I not only use a condom on it every single time regardless of what I'm doing with it, but I also stretch the condom a little to cover part of the back so as little of my own skin comes into contact with the toy as possible. Better safe than sorry I say.

So yeah, bottom line is if you are looking for a realistic dildo or a pack and play and can afford a better one go for that. If you can't afford it then this is not a bad choice. In fact I've paid a lot more for a lot worse toys.

I was also extremely happy working with Early to Bed and will definitely be buying from them again. If you are in the Chicago area I would check them out, or keep them in mind for your online sex toy/supplies purchases.

Queer Romance Blog Hop

Welcome to the Queer Romance Blog Hop, where queer writers and readers of queer romance share their thoughts on the genre, as well as a few recommendations for books to read! Everyone participating in this blog hop identifies as queer and also reads and/or writes (or edits, or reviews!) queer romance. For our purposes, queer romance refers to books with:

1. LGBTQ+ main characters

2. In romantic relationships

3. That have a happy ending. (No Brokeback Mountain here, folks!)

Hey all!

On twitter Heidi Belleau asked writers of queer romance who are also queer if they wanted to participate in this blog hop. Since I write queer romance and self identify as queer I thought it could be a fun thing to do.

For those of you who don't know me, I write under the name E.E. Ottoman. I started out writing in the m/m romance genre but have since branched out to write f/f romance, and trans* romance. I have predominantly published with Less Than Three Press, and Dreamspinner Press.

So here are my answers to some questions about my experiences/thoughts/and feels as a queer identified person working in these subgenres.

1. Let’s start off with the getting-to-know-you stuff: How do you identify, and what does that mean to you? Whatever level of detail you’re comfortable with, of course!

I identify as queer and trans*  

When it comes to sexual preference I am an androphile in that I am attracted to masculine identifying and presenting people. The way this has played out in my own life is that I've been attracted to either butch/ masculine of center people or trans* men. I've never been in a relationship with a queer or gay cisgender man but I'm not excluding the idea that it could happen in the future. 

As far as gender identity goes I identify as masculine, under the trans* umbrella. My gender is, and for the last few years has been, very much in the process of transitioning so I find I have a hard time identifying myself any further than that. I present in a masculine way, and think of my body in a very masculine way. My masculinity tends to be more effeminate though but I'm comfortable with that.

2. What’s your preferred “flavour” of queer romance (e.g. trans*, f/f, m/m, menage with queer characters, etc.) Why?

I have written m/m, f/f, and trans* romance. Right now I am write a ménage story with queer characters (cisgender man/trans* man/ third gendered, androgynous person) ::laughs:: so all of the above?

As a reader I enjoy mostly fantasy romance and science fiction romance. Because the fantasy and science fiction romance out there is predominantly M/M I end up reading predominantly M/M romance books. Which are great stuff but I would love to see more really amazing fantasy romance with trans* main characters or some lesbian knights.

3. Do you write/read/review? Do you think being queer affects your participation or platform in romancelandia?

Being a queer writer of romance who entered the genre through m/m romance has been tough, I'm not going to lie. There are a lot of great people in the genre, a lot of great readers, writers and reviewers, but there can be some prejudice too. The m/m genre is very white cisgender male oriented, it's pretty much everywhere from pictures on review sites, graphics, the covers of novels, people's tumblrs, author's inspirational photographs. The young, able, heavy muscular, white, cisgender body is held up as the perfect male body and the supreme form of male beauty and masculinity. Also the genre tends to idolize traditional jock, and alpha male masculinities. It can really marginalize those of us who don't have that kind of male body or who aren't attracted to those kinds of body and masculinities.

Also I've found a disturbing amount of trans*phobia in the genre as well. Some readers don't seem to know how to deal with books about people who aren't cisgender. I had one reader accuse me of making up genderqueerness as some kind of plot device. Readers have told me that it's a matter of taste and not everyone is into reading "that kind of stuff" when it comes to m/m romance where one or more of the men are gay or bi trans* men.

As someone who is queer I've been compelled to take a stand for more inclusion of trans* characters, for more education among writers and readers about issues which face the LGBTQ community. There's a lot of big talk within the m/m genre but not a lot of work being done around other queer people asides from gay men. Even when we fundraise for LGBTQ causes gay men are the only ones ever talked about. There also seems to be limited awareness about gender identities and gender variance, miro-agression, heteronormativity and all the larger systemic ways LGBTQ people are marginalized. Drawing attention to this lack of awareness and educating people about them is something I feel is really necessary to do in order to make this community more accepting of people like me.

4. What drew you to queer romance?

My body is such a big deal in the real world: who gets to regulate it, how I identify, how I present, who I have sex with, what right I have to make any of these decisions for myself etc.  Yet sex, gender, and sexuality is so marginalized in most literary genres. It seems to be the less sexually appealing a sex scene is the more like "art" it is, if it turns people on than it's porn and automatically worthless.

Since sexualized queer bodies are double stigmatized for being sexual and being queer I think it  makes taking sex, romance, sexuality and gender seriously when it comes to the art and craft of writing even more important.

Romance is the one genre were I feel like I can explore gender and sexuality fully without marginalizing it and that is not only accepted but celebrated.

5. What do you love about queer romance in general, and/or your specific subgenre?

I love that ability to create great fantasy science fiction and other kinds of speculative fiction that doesn't marginalized the romance and the sex but embraces it and celebrates it. 

6. What’s your pet peeve?

I get kind of annoyed with f/f and lesbian romance about the emphasis on femme/femme and femme/butch pairings. Very rarely do you ever see butch/butch or butch/masculine of center couples. I know the concept of butch/butch coupling is rather loaded in the lesbian community. They do exist though and I do happen to find them sexy so there pretty much nonexistence in the genre makes me sad.

In m/m romance I hate the over-emphasis put these athletic, able, white, young cisgender male bodies and the jock/alpha male masculinities. It wouldn't bother me so much I think if they weren't so overwhelmingly prevalent and if they weren't often held up as the best most attractive way to be male.

I also hate insta-love ::laughs:: in pretty much any genre. I'm okay with insta-lust though as long as the author calls it like it is.

7. What growth would you like to see in the genre, going forward? Any ideas on how to accomplish that?

I would love to see more inclusion and acceptance. Right now I feel like f/f and m/m writers/readers don't do anything with each other and the communities are pretty separate. I would like to see more cross-over between the two communities, more conferences were both groups of writers interacted, more reviewers taking on both, more publishers publishing both, just more community over all.

I would also like to see more acceptance for trans* characters and non-binary characters across the board. I know that there are some writers who are all about writing trans* characters and some publishers who are actively looking for stories with trans* and non-binary characters but I still encounter a lot of readers (mostly of m/m romance) who don't want to read books with trans* or non-binary characters and get very defensive about it. There's a lot of love for the cisgender cock in m/m romance.  

We need to encourage education around inclusiveness and LGBTQ awareness among both writers and readers. Writers need to write more trans* characters, or at least question if all their characters need to be cisgender. I think most writers just default to cisgender characters and if they do think of writing trans* characters they feel too afraid especially if they themselves are cis. I think though if authors can write characters who are gay, even though they themselves are straight or bi (as most writers I've encountered are) then they can write trans* characters even though they themselves are cisgender. They just have to take that step and try.

I think readers also need to trust that it won't ruin their story if the characters aren't all cisgender. If they want stories about hot guys together they can still have that and not all the characters need to be cisgender. If one or more of the characters are transgender men that doesn't magically make it not gay or not about guys. Just like having trans* women in a story doesn't automatically make it not a lesbian romance. 

I think we need more representation of people who write all sorts of characters at conferences and conventions. I do think writing LBGTQ characters and writing about sex and gender takes a lot of research and a lot of work. I would love to authors supporting each other in that research and work. I talk with writers every day but for the most part I don't know what most of them do for research when it comes to sex and gender or writing LBGTQ characters. I'm sure a lot of them have resources I would love to know about and I have some pretty cool resources too (especially about sex ;) ) that I wouldn't mind sharing. I think networking and building healthy communities is so important.

The support needs to come from outside of just writers too. Whenever a writer publishes something that portrays LGBTQ characters in empowering, positives ways reviewers need to be all over that. Readers need to spread the word, blog about it, tumblr, tweet. Again I think networking and community is everything.

8. Do you seek out other queer authors when you read?

As a reader though I don't feel the need to search out books specifically by queer authors, I think anyone queer or straight can write kick-ass queer characters. That being said if I know an author is queer I am more likely to buy their books to support them and show solidarity.

9. How do you feel, in general, about straight peoples’ participation in reading, writing, and reviewing queer romance?

I don't think queer people should be the only ones responsible for writing about queer people. I think that straight people need to write about queer people too, even if it means challenging themselves. I think straight people who write queer characters need to really question the role of heteronormativity in their lives though, just as male authors who write books about female characters need to constantly be making sure they are checking their male privilege. I think straight writers need to be particularly careful not to fetishize queer people especially gay men. They also need to be careful not to represent all LGBTQ issues through the lens of attractive white cisgender gay men only.

Also it is straight alleys' responsibility to be quiet and listen when queer people have a critique or comment about the genre and representation of queer people. Then to take that critique or comment seriously, not get defensive or brush it off.

At the end of the day I write my stories for a queer audience. If straight readers read and like my stories that's great but in general my stuff is not aimed at them and I don't go out of my way to write queerness to make straight readers feel comfortable. I love my straight readers but it isn't about them.

10. Rec us 3 titles in your chosen subgenre and tell us why you love them.

Picking just three is tough. Since I mostly write fantasy romance I've pick three that I think best illustrate the richness of LGBTQ fantasy romance (also note: I was kind of taken aback by the fact that all the books that turned up on this list are m/m. So more lesbian and trans* fantasy romance is definitely needed) However these book are totally awesomesauce

The Engineered Throne byMegan Derr

This is a great fantasy novel with lots of political intrigue and really indepth world building. The different characters and cultures are well fleshed out and well articulated. It's also a great romance with some really hot sexual tension between the two main characters. I love that their romance seems to happen slowly and naturally. Also has a side note I love how arrange marriage isn't portrayed as this life-destroying thing by any of the characters and being married to someone you are friends with but not in love with isn't seen as a loss necessarily. 

Stolen Hearts by Sasha Miller

Read any of Sasha Miller's books and you will finds some of the most meticulously well thought out magic systems in the fantasy genre in general. This book is a great example of that, and of her ability to create unique and intriguing fantasy world. The two main characters in this one are also great examples of alternative masculine body types and masculinities that are still portrayed as attractive and worth while. Also one of the characters is differently abled through being the victim of a crime later in life and I found the way Miller handled his reaction to his differently abled-ness as well as how it was perceived by the other characters to be both realistic and sensitive. There were so many moments were a less skilled author could have turned it into a really negative portrayal of what it means to be a differently abled person but Miller handled it beautifully all the way through. Also this is NOT a hurt/comfort story as much as it is a great fantasy story in which one of the characters comes to terms with their differently abled-ness. I highly recommend it.

Brute by Kim Fielding

This is a great fantasy novel with not one but two atypical romance heroes! Many reviews of this books said it read like a fairytale and I found it less fairytale like and more like really good historical fiction for a world that never existed. The world Fielding creates is rich and multi-layered with it's own history, mythology and religion, magic is real in this world but rare. The story of a man born over seven feet tall, poor and orphaned young, who saves a prince and ends up working guarding another man who's magical abilities are more curse than gift makes this story a great fantasy novel. It's also an amazing romance too however and the Fielding manages to balance both well.

So that's it for me! I feel really long winded now. Thanks for reading and for following the tour! Be sure to use the links below to check out more great posts from our participants!